This is one of the most important elections in my lifetime and the stance I took to vote was a personal one. I have been thinking a lot about my sister since her birthday on September 24, when she would have been 62 years old. I saw her last when she was 35, in a hospital bed, with only 10% of her brain functioning. I have been reflecting a lot lately on her life; a persistent tug with my memory about how often she was bullied as a teenager. It’s an awful memory to have, but I cannot escape it right now. During COVID I’ve had the time to think deeper and re-evaluate the vow of silence I’ve kept for her, the torment, and her death. May the truth and my awakening allow her soul to heal. When I voted, I voted for her. It was personal.
The door has opened for my sister’s voice to be heard, but it will take my actions to start to repair her wounds and mine. My sister wasn’t just bullied; she was also raped. What plays like a record in my mind on constant replay, are the appalling words that Donald Trump uttered, “Grab them by the pussy…” That was no laughing matter, no locker-room banter, as he claimed. Four years ago when he was revealed to have said it, I was reminded that the person(s) who took my sister’s virginity thought of it as a laughing matter. She kept silent. She was young and afraid. She opened up to my mother in secrecy, and my mother broke her silence after my sister’s death. I did not understand the severity of my sister’s mental distress and the pain she suffered until Trump spoke. How could this man have a position of leadership and be the face of our nation? All that our country has done to combat sexual harassment head-on was thrown in the trash. No matter how much business knowledge he might have, or how he might boost the economy, there is no place in our government or any respectable place of business for someone of such wicked character. I have to believe that in this world, evil does not trump the good. What Donald Trump has done, taking what is not his, is sexual harassment of the highest level. I am dumfounded that this is not the single-most central election issue. He has a sick need to bully and to control women, and I don’t believe he holds a single one in any regard except as a means to feel more powerful. What man would publicly speak such crudeness? How does our country allow a President to speak that way? What person, President or not, would call people such ugly names to bring them down? It is flat-out bullying and harassment. Can’t his supporters see it?
Our country has gone to great lengths to address bullying amongst our younger population. How many lives do we have to lose because teenage boys and girls are shamed, and cannot find hope to live any longer? That is a dark place to be, and a darkness my sister battled all her life because of the cruelty of others. She was blessed not have to bear it any more after her death, and though that is not technically what killed her, I could say a good part of her died the day she faced her assailants. The bullying continued in her 20s and 30s, in the workplace. As we have learned all too clearly in recent years, women were not accepted and respected in professional kitchens, and especially not in the old-line New Orleans restaurants. She was a gifted saucier [a chef who is an expert at making sauces.] At one restaurant that shall remain nameless, the head chef did not like the fact that her hollandaise was considered superior by her peers in the kitchen. He brutally abused her one evening by throwing boiling water on her arm when he did not like how some poached eggs were cooked. She left, and remained silent.
But now, her voice can be heard. I will help to break the cycle of silence by telling her story. I do not want, nor would she want, my children to look up to this President in any way. Donald Trump does not represent my family’s values or ethics, and is not fit to be anyone’s role model. I see the abusers of my sister in him. The persistent ugliness that is sweeping across this country must be checked immediately or our nation is in for a devastating divide. It’s not about political parties. We have to put our faith in leaders who best represent the people of the United States. We need to trust the basic morals and values that gave us our democracy.
Vote for Hope! Simone